


Depths of Despair

by brookielove44



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies), star tre
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:14:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29390376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookielove44/pseuds/brookielove44
Summary: Reader insert fic. Reader gets some devastating news about a family member, and Leonard is there to comfort her.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Reader, Leonard "Bones" McCoy/Reader, Leonard McCoy - Relationship
Kudos: 8





	Depths of Despair

**Author's Note:**

> TW/CW:  
> Grief, character death (not mentioned in detail), dealing with intense grief. 
> 
> If any of this may bother you or trigger you, please do not read. <3

You stared numbly at the comm screen after the feed was ended. Numb. Nothing. Baffled. You couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. And, you didn’t really blame the admiral for disconnecting, after your disconcerting silence for over 60 seconds.

Then.. like lightning, it hits you.

Pain. Despair. So much that you can’t breathe. Tears, falling hot and fast down your face. Gasping for breath, you shuffle your hand clumsily on the edge of your desk in your quarters, accidentally knocking your glass of water off. The crash of the breaking glass making you jump.

You didn’t realize that you were struggling for breath, until Leonard walked into the room, and caught sight of you.

“Darlin’? I heard something break, what happ—“ He began. He gasped hard and so quick, the sound was sharp as the air hissed through his teeth.

When his eyes met yours you screamed, “Len!”

He rushed over to you, knelt, and put his hands on your upper arms, gripping firmly but not too tight.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?” He asked, his hands going up and down, trying to comfort you, despite not knowing what the problem was.

You still couldn’t draw breath, between crying, and trying to tell him what the admiral had just told you. He didn’t wait for you to respond, he pulled you into his chest and hugged tightly, warm hands on your back.

His eyes. You wanted to see his eyes, those beautiful blue eyes. So you pulled back and tried to tell him what had just brought your world crashing down around you.

“My.. my…….. Admiral Kelley sent me a restricted communication. He said… he said…” and you burst into tears again, not being able to put into words something so awful.

Leonard gently pulled you into him again and kissed you on the forehead.

“I’m here, darlin’, I’m here. I know it’s hard, tell me what Kelley said.” He said in such a sweet tone that it made your chest clench in on itself again.

“It’s my brother… he… Kelley said there was a containment breach, and he… he sustained heavy injuries and… and…” the tears coming hotter and faster again.

“He’s dead!” You screamed into the space between you and him. You collapsed into him and he brought one hand up to your head, mussing into your hair, to rest one of his fingers below your ear, feeling for your pulse.

“Oh, (Y/N) baby I’m so sorry! I’m here for you, I’m here. I’ve got you.” He crooned as you cried, shook, and surely ruined the front of his medical tunic. Your body wracked with sobs, he didn’t complain about how long it went on. After a minute or so he rocked you from side to side for a moment. “Oh, darlin’ I’m so sorry.”

You started to hyperventilate, breathing irregularly, and felt lightheaded. Leonard was paying attention, and he could tell. He gently pushed you back and palmed your face in both of his hands.

“Hey, hey (Y/N) I need you to breathe for me, can you do that? I know it’s hard. Just try for me. He put his hand on your chest, not at all sexual at this moment, out of concern, and to help ground you. “Breathe with me, okay? In.. 2…3, and out 2… 3..”

He let his chest swell with air, and you moved your hand to cover his on your sternum. Trying to follow his lead you took a staggering breath.

When you still had trouble, he took one of your hands and put it on his own, mirroring you, and you felt his chest expand with the breath. “Breathe, baby, breathe.” He crooned, gently.

He tried valiantly to help you regulate your breathing, but the all-consuming grief threatened to asphyxiate you.

“Goddamnit.” He growled. You knew he wasn’t mad at you, only his helplessness in the situation. He hefted you up to a standing position and lifted you behind the knees, bridal style. There was some vague guilt for making him work so hard to help you, but the despair was so thick, you couldn’t think beyond this moment, this second that you were breathing in.

He took you into the bathroom, and turned on the water shower, instead of the sonic. Still holding you, he carried you both into the spray, not even stopping to remove any of yours, or his clothing. He carefully leaned against the wall, and slid you both to a seated position, you across his lap.

He grasped your face with one hand, “Look at me, (Y/N), look.” He said, firmly.

“Len!” You gasped out, seemingly only capable of saying that sweet shortened version of his name you loved so.

“ _ **Look**_ at me! You’re going to get through this. **I will** get you through this. I’m here. Just breathe. I’m here. I’ll always be here. Just feel the spray, and try to calm down, I know it’s hard.”

He held you. He held you as you gasped, and tried to fight with the crushing emotions you felt at this crippling loss. Almost physically wrestling with it, fingers clutching into his blue medical uniform, he held you.

Once the shower beeped it’s warning that your water ration for the shower was almost gone, he gently eased you up, and took you into the bedroom, dressed you in your softest leisure clothes, and drew you towards the bed.

He got in first, and pulled you in after, right up against his chest. When the tears that never really let up, only had slowed, renewed their tracks down your face, he didn’t complain. Instead, he began stroking your hair.

He held you. You didn’t know what you needed or wanted, but he did. And he knew you wanted him there, with his arms around you.

_**FINALIZADA** _


End file.
